The Truth is Out There: The TRUE Allegiances of the Space Marines

Every good Imperial citizen knows that the Space Marines are the Emperor’s Angels of Death. But what most don’t suspect, even inside the Inquisition, is that the true master of the Space Marines is not the beloved God-Emperor. Terrifyingly, many of humanity’s protectors have fallen prey to the wickedness of xenos and the fell taint of Chaos.

For example, the Grey Knights, the super-secret awesome-incarnate chapter of Space Marines, who do battle against the foul warpspawn, are CLEARLY in the service of the Eldar. Why, that’s preposterous, you say! Sadly, ‘tis true, dear reader. One need only look at the incident aboard the craftworld Malan’tai. After the Grey Knights purged the foul daemons from the vessel, did they procure the psycho-active soulstones for the good of humanity? Or did they return the cursed artifacts to the Eldar? Truly, the conspiracy runs deep indeed.

            Even the beloved Ultramarines are not to be trusted. After they were completely wiped out by Hive Fleet Behemoth at Ultramar, the Hive Mind captured the barely surviving body of Marneus Calgar and turned him into a genestealer. Hive Fleet Behemoth then flew into a sun, so that the “Ultramarines” would live on to spread the infestation from within humanity. How else do we “explain away” that Calgar, the spiritual liege of all Astartes and keeper of the Codex, would allow a NON-codex organization to form within his own chapter? The only rational explanation is that the Hive Mind wanted to defray suspicion, and so decided to “start” an “anti-Tyranid” “group” within the “Ultramarines.”

Behold The Lord of Ultramar on his throne of LIES!

            Known to many scholars in our honored Imperium is the incident on Gehenna. The Blood Angels, led by Lord Dante himself, were doing battle with the Necrons. That is, until Marneus Calgar led a Hive Fleet to wipe him out! Then, Lord Dante showed his true colors, took command of his loyal Necron servants, and proceeded to send Calgar crying back to Macragge. Surely it has not escaped your notice, dear reader, that Dante and Deceiver both start with the letter D!? Such a thing can surely be no coincidence—they are one and the same!

            I could go on—how the Dark Angels fell to Chaos, and Cipher and his "Forsaken," as they call themselves, are desperately trying to warn Terra of the Lion’s betrayal. Of how the Black Templars may or may not be the most successful Ork WAAAGH in the history of the galaxy, masquerading as an endless human crusade. But I think that all that is pretty much self evident, now that I’ve shed light on the fact that the defenders of man…

[PAUSE]

…may not be who they seem….